An unpleasant experience when leading a group, is to have a participant strongly opposing and contradicting you. Leading a charge against you.

I used to think that! Now I look forward to it…

Because whatever you think they are doing, THAT flows from your perception.

What if they are not doing that?

What if what they want is understanding, clarity and completion? Wouldn't you "listen differently" if you perceived them that way?

You can develop the space in your mind to see them however you wish.

Part of my work involves getting up at 3.30am to coach clients scattered around the world.

At first I reacted with horror; now I get up at 3.30am anyway.

In Tokyo, the light is already peeping through the clouds by 4am.

The streets are deserted, the traffic lights aimlessly changing in vacant stupidity. It's quiet, and there you see a tall, erect-looking man, thumping along the side of the river alone, wondering why he would want anyone to love him?

Back in the 1980s, I negotiated a deal with an upmarket Chiropractic Centre in Neutral Bay, a suburb full of married woman who practised Yoga because they hadn't heard of Pilates yet. Luckily, Alexander was in vogue back then, so I could demand my terms.

I told the Manager: I can pay you when I teach, that's it. No monthly rent, sorry.

I was happy to walk away from the deal.

*** SIDE BAR ***

That's the simple secret to being strong in a negotiation. As English billionaire Felix Dennis puts it in 88 The Narrow Road:

“Rafferty Rules” was the biggest day in my little 5 year old life.

It happened on Fridays, I don’t remember much more. All I remember is that Dad said I could do…

ANYTHING: Rafferty Rules = There Are No Rules (Wow)

To my magical baby mind, that was, like – incomprehensible. Anything? I can do anything? What will I do? I know, stay up late. Which was about all I could think of (since in those days no one was obsessed about sugar intakes).

Have you ever noticed how often FM’s work is “discovered” in other methods?

Haven’t you ever wondered about that?

Of course (speaking from my own experience) it can be intensely irritating to explain…

“No, AT isn’t really like Yoga. Not at all.”

…because not only is the listener nonplussed by your response, they also become slightly irritated and defensive too.

It’s like two 5 year olds on a playground: “My daddy’s better than your daddy. There!”

This is the text of a letter I wrote recently to a friend who wondered why I seem to actively offend so many people in the AT world with my position on Tablework. This is what I wrote back...

***

Dear Friend (who shall remain anonymous),

The tablework/constructive rest thing is an important component of my whole sales and marketing thrust - the idea is to do what the students wants, not what you prescribe.

Anyone could copy what I have done in Japan. Why doesn't anyone do that?

Because it is too dam hard. Right now, I am planning on building a new biz in Japan and I constantly go into overwhelm: How will I do it? Who do I ask for help? How do I convince people about my idea? These are all questions that seek answers, and while in the midst of asking these questions, I easily become emotionally frightened and panicked.

I am creating quite a ruckus in Japan these days - I announced that we will now call what we do BodyChance Method, not Alexander Technique.

What?!!

Students are exclaiming: we came to learn Alexander Technique!

Yes, well - of course. I do get that.

But how do you define Alexander Technique?

There are two ways to define Alexander Technique:

1.Alexander Technique is what Alexander discovered.
2.Alexander Technique is a way of teaching what Alexander discovered.

My feeling within ATSuccess this week is that we can do away with Alexander Technique thank you very much, but NOT the work. The old man said it had to evolve, but into what? There's the rub - when it stops looking like what he did, the traditionalists worry. It's right that they worry, but not helpful to them, helpful to me. Why? I know I am doing something different when the feeling all around is "No - that is wrong." Hang on - isn't that exactly a indicator of change? (But not a good one I hear them yelling!)

After I met Marjorie Barstow and started to metamorphose my teaching habits, I began to wonder what my pupils were thinking about. So I asked them. What surprised me most is that they weren't thinking at all - they were busy feeling.

In retrospect, it was obvious that they would be doing that. After all, before I met Marj, I hardly ever had my hands off them. I was busy doing my "Alexander-is-a-feeling" teaching technique: I made sure I was constantly giving them new experiences.