The Dalai Lama wrote that the best way to help others is to be selfish first: he called it "selfish wisdom."

The most obvious example is on an aeroplane.

When your hostess shows you how to use the oxygen mask, she will also advise that you put your mask on first, before you help a child with their mask. You before the child, not the child first (as most people would think).

It's obvious when you think about it - how can you help a child if you pass out? Then two of you would be harmed.

I landed in Mullumbimby yesterday, here to be with my two teenage daughters. People back in Japan and elsewhere tell me:

“When you are in Australia, you are different.”

Really?

It is not that apparent to me. And I wonder – who am I that appears so differently depending on what place I am in…

Or is it what I am doing that causes me to appear differently?

Just 7 days ago, Carlos Ghosn stepped down as CEO of Nissan.

He had a remarkable run, from 1999 turning around an iconic company that was about to crash; then going on to produce a series of "zero-emission" electric cars for developing countries to protect our environment. He is doing good in the world.

In Japan they nicknamed him "7/11" in tribute to his prodigious working ethic.

What do you think this is:

MSIIT-CCCOFTI-UOSAA-UCIL

It looks like one of those odious passwords that Microsoft loves to throw at you.

But it isn't.

Is it Latin?

Sanctus Msiit Cccoti Uotsaa Ucil?

No, but first let me thank you for continuing to read. AND being a reader of my blog.

When I was considering doing this daily emailed blog - oh yes, it took 6 months of DeepThinking to commit! - I tried to find my deepest purpose: the clear mission.

One of the delights of my current life is working with a variety of teachers from all over the world. They often inspire my daily epistles - I swiped today's Subject line off a Texas gal just 10 minutes ago. (Thanks Julie, now put that gun away.)

Why do these teachers and students come?

Not to get rich. None of us are rich. Are you rich?

Perhaps we are philanthropists masquerading as professional teachers…

Here's what you've most likely already given:

Back in the 1980s, I negotiated a deal with an upmarket Chiropractic Centre in Neutral Bay, a suburb full of married woman who practised Yoga because they hadn't heard of Pilates yet. Luckily, Alexander was in vogue back then, so I could demand my terms.

I told the Manager: I can pay you when I teach, that's it. No monthly rent, sorry.

I was happy to walk away from the deal.

*** SIDE BAR ***

That's the simple secret to being strong in a negotiation. As English billionaire Felix Dennis puts it in 88 The Narrow Road:

How do you feel when people cheer your work?

If you love that too much, you're in trouble.

Why?

Because what happens when they DON'T like your work?

:(

EXACTLY.

***

You need a replacement plan for your addiction to praise.

When you are standing in front of a group of people, your mouth dry, terror in your heart and wondering "Will they like me? Will I do well tonight?" that's when you pull out your replacement plan: a list of things you must do to meet your own standard.

When I first started my school in Japan, I once wanted to die.

Not suicide, but almost. Because something happened…

And I reacted badly to it.

I was washed away by a tsunami of emotions so brutal that, for a moment, I wanted to drown. I wanted to escape from a darkness so overwhelming, it took my breath away.

I was co-teaching a workshop in Kyoto, in 2001.

A few weeks ago I was violently berated by one of my staff.

He didn't hit me or anything - I just rarely encounter real, live and angry people.

Then last night I was berated again for the same reason. By a different staff! At some point it's necessary to think - perhaps they have a point? If they have to shout to be heard, maybe I am not listening.

So what did I hear?

After outing my Self, I asked you to write in with your secret.

I got a few, but here’s one that touched me…

***

My Alexander secret is that I haven't solved my neck and back tension problem at my pharmacy work (I'm a community pharmacist as well). That makes me think that I can't be a good teacher. That also makes me doubt the whole Alexander discovery.

***

Are teachers supposed to be free of pain? No-one told me that. I certainly am not.