I’ve spent a long time making a fool of myself.

Publically, loudly and with a lot fanfare. Or at least that is how I felt sometimes (foolish) and that is how I was told by others (sometimes). Yet as Brené Brown rightly points out – while risk taking opens you to the possibility of ridicule and hurt, it also opens you to all those other juicy emotions like vitality, joy, enthusiasm, love.

Recently I posted on Facebook, and got quite a response.

It was an insight I’d had into my own behaviour – which I am posting to Facebook all the time so what’s new? Yet this one hit a chord with a lot of folks! I was surprised by the rich reaction it garnered. Many people commented, I got unsolicited emails privately, and now I’m reading a book about it!*

I am writing at the end of a harrowing and hollowing day of beauty at my Costa Rica Mastermind.

I am getting a brain operation here. It’s about being vulnerable and admitting where I am weak. Admitting that I am failing to deliver on the grandiosity and hope I use to pump myself into action against the crisis and disappointments that tend to wake me up.

Not to belittle my accomplishments though.

People don’t buy when they are confused.

And Alexander's discovery is the mother of all confusing things!

I’m celebrating today the start of our 2nd ATSuccess annual coaching program with 9 teachers signed up, and another still on the fence. (BTW: the group is closed, this is not a sales letter).

Last month, in BodyChance’s Yoga Pro in Japan, I asked for a show of hands:

“Who has trouble explaining what they are doing here to their friends?”

All the hands went up.

Just off a call with ATSuccess member Xiaosong in Buenos Aires, talking about her niche of Tango dancers. It seems most Tango dancers don’t read email, they culturally avoid committing to even meet for a coffee tomorrow – let alone joining a long term learning program! – and, well, they don’t behave in the nice, neat ways that ATSuccess has developed for the Japanese and Western markets.

Success is not something you make alone, it is something you make with others.

That’s so obvious and banal, you may wonder why I bother to state it?

Because I didn't get that, not for a long time. My ego was too noisy to let me really hear it.

The statistics are arresting: half of all small businesses will fail within 5 years. Consider that. It’s like throwing a dice. For Alexander discovery teachers, when starting out to build a business, that is not a comforting statistic.

50% or more of small businesses fail within 5 years. Wow!

When your biz goes AWOL, when there’s no money to pay your rent, when your inbox has another email from an unhappy student, when you’re partner keeps asking you when are you going to get a real job? When all that is happening, when you are in despair, lost, depressed, confused – this is hell.

Or is it?

Let’s look at pain from the point of view of neuroscience – yes, let’s get off the spiritual train for a minute and jump down into little contested facts about the physiology of movement.

What is the function of pain? Is it friendly or unfriendly?

When was the last time you asked anybody this question:

“What do you know about me that I don’t?”

I tried that question last Sunday with a bunch of trusted biz owners – guys and gals all working in ways similar to me to build their businesses. We were 9 people and as I sat silently listening, I felt my ego being silently ripped out of my guts and spilt all over the floor.

When you do it, be sure you are already secure in your love for your Self.

I am elite Platinum member of my Qantas Frequent Flyer club.

I’d like to think it is because I fly business class all the time and rake in the miles – but sitting here in Economy, cramped up against the seat in front of me, while I peck out my blog, puts that delusion to rest.

So why am I here?

I am off to Florida to be coached by a bunch of fellow biz entrepreneurs in USA. I start my own coaching in a week – at ATSuccess London Symposium on How To Build A Successful Practise – but first I need to limber up and eat some humble pie.

Keiko Isomura passed away in 2013.

She was one of the first trainees to graduate from BodyChance in 2003 – when it was still called ATA (Alexander Technique Associates) in honour of Don Burton.

I encouraged Keiko-san to explore the world of alternative trainings, so a year after she qualified, she travelled to London and spent 3 months studying with Walter Carrington at the Constructive Teaching Centre in Lansdowne Road.

Keiko became a trainee again.