5.52am and there she is.

Old, dedicated lady - with an ancient Japanese brush broom - relentlessly scratching away the autumn leaves that accumulate daily.

Why does she do it?

I run alongside the Meguro river, and her section of the pathway is pristine. I see no home nearby, no institutions, no reason why she would be so obsessed about keeping her little section clean.

But she does. She is there every day I am there.

Sonja Higgo, one of my star students - and her Self an experienced teacher of many years - just emailed me this note…

***

What I have noticed recently is that I benefit and enjoy doing the task I intended to do rather than procrastinating once again. As I experienced relief and joy about such a simple decision I found it really easy to change.

***

It was timely for me, as procrastination recently haunts my days.

I get up, make a list, and do very little of it. DAMN!

How do you manage the mammal in you?

A number of kind readers picked up from my hospital blog, that my love affair with hospitals all started as a 2 year old boy, tied to a bed for 3 months. When asked about how I could have endured such a thing, I found my Self replying:

"The pain is at the heart of why I can keep going."

To do truly transform your life, it's an advantage to have a death wish.

It's impossible not to be strategic, manipulative, plotting and Machiavellian, when you are unable to listen to the clear communication of another human being.

A case in point is the way I am continuing to treat my ex-partner, as if he were an animal needing to be re-captured. Despite his clear request to remain free.

As if he didn't know his own mind?

As if he can be tricked into thinking like mine?

How could I objectify another human being this way?

It's mammalian behaviour. It's how I am programmed to respond.

Or even hugged by a chimpanzee?

I haven't, but Zoologist Desmond Morris relates his experience of both in his book Initmate Behaviours:

And I thought it was all over. Is it ever finished?

There I am, sobbing on my green couch this morning like a 5 year old, after reading these words from Byron Katie:

"Life on the other side of inquiry is so simple and obvious that it can't be imagined. Everything is seen to be at its best, just the way it is. Hope and faith aren't needed in this place. Earth turned out to be the heaven I was longing for. This is the unimaginable life that I live, that we all live."

Desmond Morris, in his 1971 book Intimate Behaviour writes:

"If the monkey is a male, it will never again, as an adult, know the total intimacy of a loving bond. Until the day it dies, it will continue to exist in a loveless world of rivalries and partnerships, of competition and co-operation."

Isn't that the life of an increasing number of people today?

Reflecting on an end of intimacy I experienced recently, I wrote to a dear friend that I was mourning the loss of

What a weird day.

I got just what I had been asking for, as I often ask in class:

"Does anyone have any questions, comments or complaints?"

It was inspired by my daughter Grace. When she was little, we used to play a game. She would complain to me. I would look outraged. I would puff and blow my Self up to over- size, then bellow in a loud voice:

"Grace! How dare you behave this way!!

Stop behaving like a 5 year old!!!"

And then Grace - with a little sparkle on her face - would quickly reply:

I’m hitting the stop button on my series of three.

Instead – today’s is Grace’s birthday, and it’s a good moment to reflect on my (and yours) mammalian instincts. These most often remain hidden to you, yet determine 99% of your actions.

That 1% is important: that 1% is Steve Jobs @ Apple. It’s Gandhi in India.

Conscious Constructive Guidance, the 1%.

How do you feel when people cheer your work?

If you love that too much, you're in trouble.

Why?

Because what happens when they DON'T like your work?

:(

EXACTLY.

***

You need a replacement plan for your addiction to praise.

When you are standing in front of a group of people, your mouth dry, terror in your heart and wondering "Will they like me? Will I do well tonight?" that's when you pull out your replacement plan: a list of things you must do to meet your own standard.