To live a public, vulnerable life takes a lot of self-love.

When you are looking to others to validate your actions: HOPELESS.

You have the life you imagine others want you to live…

• I must do this for my children
• My partner won't like that
• Can I really say that to him?

And so on and so on until you don't know who is listening, and you don't know what to say and you end up in bed, in the morning, with no energy to get up, with no energy to live.

This is not the life you want to lead.

Live your life instead - here's an example of how:

Yesterday I taught at BodyChance - and one of the students was working on her playing plan.

***SIDEBAR***

At BodyChance we don't talk about "giving directions" - which is more common with the table-and-chair variety of "Alexander Technique" that FM birthed. Instead we talk about "plans":

• Yes Plans
• If/Then Plans
• Replacement Plans
• Turnaround Plans
• Movement Plans

Each one the same in principle, with a different flavour depending up the circumstances of the activity.

***END SIDEBAR***

I asked my student:

"What is your playing plan?"

She replied with lots of different bits of things: embouchure, getting enough air, a high pitched sequence, entertaining the audience.

Our first task was to give ourselves the time to construct a unified plan that flowed contiguously with all the moving parts to integrate with her desire to play music. It was then - as she was articulating a final version - that the real cause of her tightening between head and spine emerged…

"…so they can enjoy my music so that…"

"HANG ON!" I interrupted her sharply.

"You have no business dictating to other people how they should react to your music!"

She looked at me confused, and I decided to be kinder.

"Why do you play?" I asked her.

"I enjoy it" she replied simply.

"OK - then put THAT in your plan!"

She started to look interested, yet her mind had not connected it together.

"Make a turnaround plan" I suggested. "You said '…so that they can enjoy my music…' How could you turn that around?"

A look of total surprise and joy overcome her face:

"Do you mean: I can play for ME!?"

YES!!!

"OMG. Really? But I thought I had to entertain them…"

"No. That's not your job. Your job is to entertain your Self. When you're having fun, who cares about them?"

"But what if my playing is no good?" she worried.

"Then you won't be entertaining your Self will you?"

"Oh… Right! If I enjoy it, maybe they will…"

"FORGET ABOUT THEM! (Back to being sharp)

Play for YOU. If you love it, then that's the best you can do, right? So do that, and let them decide if they want to stay and listen or not."

This is a turnaround plan. This is a life lived for you.

The whole concept of making a plan is part of ThinkingBody Online.

It's coming soon - register below, get my essay and be in the front seat for a "Foundation Member" discount when it finally goes live.

ThinkingBody Online.

Picture credit: Pixabay.com